Friday, 12 April - And we'll never be royals

Good morning, it’s Friday, 12 April. In your Squiz Today…

• Albanese sets out plans for Australia’s future

• OJ Simpson dies aged 76

• And the UK has a new Dogfather…

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Said PM Anthony Albanese in response to a question of whether he'd ever smoked. Albanese says he’s never touched a durry, which is a bit of a feat given his vintage…

An investment in the future

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When he wasn’t talking about his lifestyle choices, PM Albanese was sharing his plans for the ‘Future Made in Australia Act’ yesterday. The proposal is for a taxpayer-funded scheme to increase manufacturing and clean energy projects here in Australia as the world pushes towards green energy. Albanese says it’s needed “to boost investment, create jobs and seize the opportunities of a future made in Australia” after 4 years of pandemic/wars/supply chain snafus/financial crises that have wreaked havoc across the world. That’s a jazzy way of saying he wants to reduce our reliance on other countries… “We can't afford to not be able to stand on our own 2 feet,” Albanese said.

So what’s it all about?

Getting our share of international investment. In the lucrative clean energy/high-tech manufacturing space, US President Joe Biden has launched the US Inflation Reduction Act that’s putting US$500 billion in American industry’s hands - and that’s a threat to Australia’s renewables industry. Biden’s scheme involves spending hundreds of billions to support US-based clean energy/manufacturing via tax breaks and subsidies for businesses and projects in those areas… Albanese says he won’t match the US “dollar for dollar”, but he believes the government can create an environment where we “can absolutely compete for international investment”. It’ll involve new projects, and existing schemes like Hydrogen Headstart, Solar Sunshot and the National Reconstruction Fund will also be brought under this banner. 

Sounds impressive…

It does, but before Albanese even officially launched it, he was questioned about whether it’s just a rebrand of existing projects - something he denies. He said the world’s at a crunch point and the government needs to offer new incentives to retain and grow local industries. He said “we can’t afford to continue to export all our resources, wait for someone else to add the jobs and the value, and then import it back”. But Coalition leader Peter Dutton is dubious - he reckons Albanese’s plan is “peddling false hope” and that Australian manufacturing is “going broke under the Labor Government because of their energy costs, because of their industrial relations imposts”. Next stop: the Federal Budget on 14 May…

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OJ Simpson leaves the field

OJ Simpson, the fallen American football star and actor who was famously acquitted of murder after the "trial of the century", has died aged 76. Simpson, who was a huge deal back in the '70s and '80s, was accused of murdering his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman, who were found stabbed to death in 1994. What followed was one of the most famous - and slowest - car chases in history as Simpson led police through the streets of LA. The chase, and his surrender 2 hours later, was watched live on TV by millions in the US. A jury found him not guilty of the double murder in 1995, but he was later found liable for the deaths in a civil suit and ordered to pay the victims' families US$33.5 million in damages. Years later, he served 9 years in jail for a botched armed robbery in Las Vegas. Simpson’s family announced his death from cancer on social media overnight.

A new bushland search

Victorian Police say “intelligence derived from a number of sources” led to a new search for 51yo Ballarat woman Samantha Murphy’s body yesterday, but they have failed to turn up anything of note. Police used cadaver dogs for the first time to scour part of Enfield State Park, about 25km south of Ballarat. Murphy disappeared during her morning run on 4 February, and police allege she was killed on the same day. Ballarat man Patrick Orren Stephenson was arrested and charged with her murder - so far he hasn’t assisted police in their search. It comes as the Ballarat community struggles to deal with 2 other alleged murders of local women in recent weeks, prompting calls for a crackdown on gendered violence. The search for Murphy’s remains is expected to resume today.

A Cooked by-election

The Electoral Commission is concerned about low voter turnout for tomorrow’s by-election in the southern Sydney seat of Cook to fill former PM Scott Morrison’s seat after he resigned in January. Nearly 112,000 people are eligible to cast their ballots, but Electoral Commissioner Tom Rogers says early voting numbers are down by over 11% compared to the 2022 federal election. Low levels of campaigning might be to blame - Cook is considered a safe Liberal seat, and its candidate Simon Kennedy is expected to win. He’s facing challenges from 5 candidates but none are from Labor. Rogers says "failure to vote may result in a fine” - and we say it’s a failure to secure a bonus democracy sausage… 

Paying for the party

Questions have lingered over whether Prince Harry lied on his US visa application about his drug use - and now the issue has made it all the way to the White House… US President Joe Biden’s administration lawyers say they’ve handed his documents to a federal judge for review. Legal action was launched by conservative think tank The Heritage Foundation, which claims his autobiography Spare* reveals that he lied to US authorities about having used drugs. In the memoir, Hazza lists several illicit substances he's taken - including magic mushrooms at Courtney Cox’s house. The Foundation argues the public has a right to know if the Royal was given special treatment and says he should lose his visa to stay in the US. Presidential candidate Donald Trump says he “wouldn’t protect” Harry if he wins a second term because he had “betrayed the Queen”.

That’s a lot of pups…

A golden retriever has been dubbed the ‘Dogfather’ after siring no less than 300 puppies across 39 different litters - including one that had a record-breaking 16 babies. But far from being a cad, Trigger has been part of a charity breeding program helping visually impaired people across the UK. And his work doesn’t end there… Two of his litters were born in France and the Netherlands, helping to build puppy partnerships across the continent. After all those litters, he’s retiring at 9yo (aka 61yo in dog years). The Guide Dogs organisation said Trigger's progeny had brought "independence" and "confidence" to the lives of blind and partially sighted people all over Britain. And there are hopes one of his 323 offspring - Billy - will continue his legendary legacy. Someone give him a bone…

Friday Lites - 3 things we liked this week

We’re big fans of Aussie writer Liane Moriarty, but if you haven’t got time to devour a book, the new series based on her novel Apples Never Fall* is a great way to spend your evenings. It's got intrigue, crime and a cracking cast, including Annette Bening. Check it out on Binge.

Squiz HQ is split into messy buggers and tidy types but this article on whether the untidy can change their ways had us chuckling, as do the TikToks destigmatising household chaos. Apparently not tidying up means you’re a creative type which just sounds like a great excuse to skip the vacuuming this weekend…

And in honour of US National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day today, we’ve been tucking into kimchi jaffles using this recipe to celebrate the joy that is toasted bread, melted cheese and spicy Korean fermented cabbage in this modern take on a classic. Easy and delish - perfect!

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Squiz the Day

Friday
8.30am (AEST) - Infrastructure Minister Catherine King will outline federal govt infrastructure priorities to the CEDA 2024 Infrastructure Conference

7.00am (AEST) - Beyond Bitumen Car Rally to raise money for Beyond Blue (until 15 April) - Gundagai to Goulburn

10.00am (AEST) - International Cake Show starts (until 14 April) - Brisbane

12.00pm (AEST) - Tennis: Billie Jean King Cup, Australia v Mexico (until 13 April) - Brisbane

6.30pm (ACST) - Parrtjima Aboriginal Light Festival (until April) - Alice Springs

ABS Data Release - Consumption of Selected Foods, 22/23

NSW, ACT, SA Term 1 ends

Coachella - 1st weekend - Palm Springs

International Day of Human Space Flight 

National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day

Birthdays for David Letterman (1947), Magda Szubanski (1961), Clare Danes (1979), and Saoirse Ronan (1994)

Anniversary of:

• the publication of Gustave Flaubert's novel Madame Bovary (1857)

• the beginning of the US Civil War with the Battle of Fort Sumter (1861)

• US President Bill Clinton cited for contempt of court for giving "intentionally false statements" in a sexual harassment civil lawsuit (1999)

Saturday
2.00am (AEST) - Democratic presidential primary in Alaska

5.00pm (AEST) - 2024 Super Netball season begins with the Giants v West Coast Fever - Sydney

7.00pm (ACST) - And the netball fun continues with the Thunderbirds v Firebirds - Adelaide

The Cook by-election to fill Scott Morrison's seat 

Start of the Shitbox Rally with US Ambassador Caroline Kennedy taking part this year to raise money for cancer research (until 20 April) - Adelaide to Perth

Auslan Day 

Scrabble Day 

Judy Nunn’s birthday (1945)

Anniversary of:

• Christopher Hitchens' birthday (1949)

• Apollo 13 announcing "Ok, Houston, we've had a problem here", as an oxygen tank exploded en route to the Moon (1970)

• Tiger Woods becoming the youngest golfer to win the Masters Tournament at 22yo (1997)

• Winx ending her racing career with a 3rd Queen Elizabeth Stakes win in Sydney (2019)

Sunday
8.00am (AEST) - Special Bluey episode The Sign premiers, Watch/ABC iview

2.00pm (AEST) - Netball: Mavericks v Vixens - Melbourne

4.00pm (AEST) - Netball: Lightning v Swifts - Brisbane

5.00pm (AEST) - RAW Comedy National Grand Final - Melbourne

International Moment of Laughter Day

World Chagas Disease Day

Birthdays for Julie Christie (1941), Julia Zemiro (1967) Adrien Brody (1973), Sarah Michelle Gellar (1977)

Anniversary of:

• US President Abraham Lincoln's assassination by John Wilkes Booth (1865)

• Dr Harry Plotz discovering the typhoid vaccine (1903)

• the RMS Titanic hitting an iceberg (1912)

• Justin Trudeau being elected leader of Canada's Liberal Party (2013)