Monday, 17 November - You should not be doing that

Good morning, it’s Monday, 17 November. In your Squiz Today…

• The Coalition formalises its climate policy

• Trump lifts tariffs on Aussie beef

• And a bogan take on War & Peace…

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Squiz the Weather

Squiz Sayings

Said commentators calling a chaotic T100 Dubai triathlon yesterday, where Germany’s Mika Noodt mistakenly thought he’d won due to a faulty lap counter. Celebrating on lap 7 of 8 has to be a new standard in German efficiency...

Making its position known

The Squiz

Liberal and Nationals MPs rubber-stamped their new climate policy during a joint party room meeting yesterday afternoon, making the Coalition’s dumping of a net zero emissions target official. Afterwards, Coalition leader Sussan Ley said their new Affordable Energy Scheme will be about putting downward pressure on energy and gas prices. Nationals leader David Littleproud said it wasn't a “debate about the science” behind climate change, but a “debate about the economics” of the energy transition. 

What do we know about it?

There’s a bit to it, but essentially, if the Coalition won the next federal election in 2028, Oz would stop setting long-term targets to reduce our emissions. Instead, net zero “would be a welcome outcome, if achieved through technology, choice and voluntary markets”. The Coalition says it would still reduce emissions “year on year”, based on how other developed nations are tracking in reducing theirs, but they would ditch Labor’s target of reducing emissions 43% by 2030. PM Anthony Albanese was critical - he called the Coalition a “clown show” for going back on the Paris Agreement former PM Tony Abbott signed onto (which says emissions targets should be set…) and the net zero policy former PM Scott Morrison announced in 2021.

Anything else?

While we’re talking about the Albanese Government… Climate Change Minister Chris Bowen is in Brazil this week for the United Nations’ COP30 climate conference - and to make a last-ditch push for us to host next year’s COP31 conference in Adelaide. Our bid has the backing of several of our Pacific neighbours, who’d be co-hosting with Oz, but Turkey - who we’re up against - isn’t backing out. Bowen will be negotiating with his Turkish counterparts this week, and if it can’t be resolved, the summit will automatically go to the German city of Bonn - where the UN climate agency is based. Foreign Minister Penny Wong wouldn’t answer questions yesterday about the potential cost of hosting - but said she expects a location will be chosen by the end of this week.

Add this to the summer checklist

Sunscreen and hats are sorted, but kids' sunnies often fall off the radar. Experts reckon up to 80% of lifetime UV eye damage happens before 18yo, and you can't see or feel those UV rays doing their damage - including on cloudy days. Babiators have 100% UV protection and polarised lenses, plus frames that survive real life - being sat on, dropped, twisted, you name it. Worth a look if you're checking off the summer prep list...

Squiz the Rest

Molly Ticehurst’s killer has pleaded guilty

You might remember the case of the 28yo mother and childcare worker from April last year, after she was murdered in her Forbes home by her ex-partner Daniel Billings. He'd been released on bail for domestic violence offences against Molly 2 weeks before, and her death led to stronger bail laws for people accused of certain domestic violence offences. On Friday, after he pleaded guilty to Molly’s murder, court documents were released showing a series of threatening text messages she’d been subjected to from Billings in the days before he killed her. NSW Premier Chris Minns said he wished the bail laws had been changed before Molly’s death, but when it comes to bail for domestic violence crimes, “we now have the strongest laws in the country”. Billings is due back in court on 12 December. 
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Resolving the beef over tariffs 

Aussie beef was in the headlines over the weekend - it’s one of dozens of fresh food and grocery items to have tariffs lifted by US President Donald Trump. The President made the order on Friday in a bid to lower prices at the checkout - and it was welcomed by our cattle farmers, who send around $2 billion worth of beef to the US each year. Also on the list: bananas, coffee, avocados, tomatoes, cocoa, and lots more products that can’t be grown or produced at scale in America. Reports say it’s in response to rising inflation, which is becoming a political issue for Trump, with September data showing grocery prices have increased the fastest since 2023. And it comes after Democrats won big in recent local and state elections with cost-of-living campaigns, so it’s not just consumers feeling the squeeze…

A holy homecoming

The Vatican Museum holds a vast range of historical relics from all over the world, and some of those taken from Canada more than a century ago will soon be returning home at the request of First Nations and Inuit peoples. An extensive collection of Indigenous Australian artefacts is also held there, but there’s no word yet on whether any of them will be coming home… While we’re on Aussie treasures in the Vatican, actor Cate Blanchett was among a group of celebrities granted an audience with the Pope on Saturday. Blanchett said he spoke about the importance of cinema, and urged them to go back to their day jobs and “inspire people”. The celebs came with gifts - Blanchett brought Pope Leo a woven bracelet, but this New York Knicks jersey from director Spike Lee with ‘Pope 14’ on the back was a slam-dunk… 

Vale Tucker

Bacon lover and friend to Squiz founder Claire Kimball, Tucker the Frenchie died yesterday at 13yo. One somewhat reliable dog age calculator says that’s equivalent to 85 human years... As longtime Squizers know, Tucker was integral to the founding of The Squiz and was a co-pilot on the 4am shift for many years. “Tucker had a strong independent streak - his disinterest in most other dogs was legendary. It was just 3 weeks ago that he peed on a puppy who was annoying him,” Claire said. His signature move - a ‘defensive farting’ manoeuvre that was deployed when he was bored or wanted people to leave. “But he really loved people and was smoochy when he knew I needed a cuddle. Anyone who’s lost a beloved pet knows what a hole it leaves.” May the treats be plentiful wherever he is… 

Tolstoy, but with drongos

There’s a new “bogan” version of War & Peace doing the rounds, written by an Aussie who reckons he’s taken Leo Tolstoy’s classic “down the pub”. IT worker Andrew Tesoriero, who writes under the pen name Ander Louis, began translating the 1,200-page novel around 6 years ago - and he’s now on the verge of a book deal. He started it to make himself laugh, using phrases like “chicky babe”, “drongo” and “sheila” in the prose, and says the best feedback he’s gotten is from people saying how much easier his version is to understand. He reckons ‘bogan’ lingo cuts across classes in Oz, and says it’s more a term of endearment than an insult. As for its popularity, Louis believes it’s partly down to the ‘Bluey effect’ in the US, saying “Aussie-isms are in vogue over there at the moment.” For real life...

Apropos of Nothing

Confusion reigned at the Senior South Australian of the Year awards on Saturday night when weather scientist Malcolm Benoy was announced as the winner, then was promptly told there'd been a mix-up. But the mix-up was itself a mix-up, and it was Benoy who got the honour after all…

Amyl and the Sniffers shouted a round for Melbourne after their all-ages gig at Federation Square was cancelled due to safety concerns on Friday night. The band put $5,000 behind the bar at 7 city venues to make up for it - and plenty of fans said ‘cheers’…

And the landline phone might be turning 150 soon, but in an effort to get kids off smartphones and back into regular conversations, this report says a growing number of parents are reinstalling them in their homes. Ring ring, it’s 1985 calling…

Squiz the Day

Nearly 70 preschools in the ACT will remain closed due to concerns over asbestos contamination in coloured sand products that have been recalled - Canberra

9.00am (AEDT) - The final public hearing of the parliamentary inquiry into the Thriving Kids program will be held - Canberra

9.00am (ACST) - A coronial inquest into the death of Kumanjayi Rubuntja, who died while in care, will begin - Alice Springs

9.30am (AEDT) - A case management hearing is set down in underpayments lawsuits against Coles and Woolies brought by the Fair Work Ombudsman and 2 class actions - Sydney

10.00am (AEST) - The 14th Australia-Solomon Islands Business Forum begins, with Solomon Islands PM Jeremiah Manele delivering the keynote address (until 19 November) - Brisbane

10.00am (AEDT) - Endeavour Group (owner of Dan Murphy’s and BWS) will hold its AGM - Sydney 

10.15am (AEDT) - A hearing is set to begin in Pauline Hanson’s appeal against a finding that she racially discriminated against Deputy Greens Leader Senator Mehreen Feruqi - Sydney

6.00pm (AEDT) - The 2026 Australian of the Year Awards to be announced for the ACT - Canberra

6.30pm (AEDT) - Foreign Minister Penny Wong will deliver a keynote address at the National Conference Gala Dinner for the Australian Institute of International Affairs - Canberra

7.00pm (AEDT) - Sport Australia Hall of Fame inductees gala dinner - Melbourne

Elders full year results to be released

It’s the start of National Skin Cancer Action Week (on until 23 Nov) 

World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims 

Birthdays for director Martin Scorsese (1942), actors Danny Devito (1944) and Rachel McAdams (1978), entertainer RuPaul (1960), and singer Kate Ceberano (1966)

Anniversary of:

• Elizabeth I ascending the English throne at 25yo following the death of her half sister, Queen "Bloody" Mary (1558)

• the opening of the Suez Canal, linking Mediterranean and Red seas (1869), as well as the anniversary of the first ship sailing through the Panama Canal, which connects the Atlantic and Pacific oceans (1913) death of Catherine the Great (1796) 

• Douglas Engelbart receiving a patent for the first computer mouse (1970)